if you insult me i’ll probably just agree with you
- Doctor: Are you sexually active?
- Me: Yes.
- Doctor: Is there any chance you could be pregnant?
- Me: No.
- Doctor: Are you taking birth control pills?
- Me: No.
- Doctor: Do you use condoms?
- Me: Nope.
- Doctor (beginning to look concerned): Is there a medical reason you can't become pregnant?
- Me: Not that I'm aware of.
- Doctor (looking even more concerned, now speaking in a condescending tone): Then how do you know there's no chance of pregnancy?
- Me: Last I checked, my female partner would have a hard time pulling that off.
*points to bedroom* This is where we frick frack.
*points to kitchen* This is where we snick snack.
*points to living room* This is where we kick back.
*points to bathroom* This is where we shit shat.
*points to couch* This is where we chit chat.
*points to computer* This is where we click clack.
*points to shelf* This is where weknick knack.
*points to sex dungeon* This is where we paddy-whack.